I am a member of the breastapo apparently!

Total incoherent rant follows! I'm crap at writing at the best of times, let alone when angry.
Making women feel so guilty about breastfeeding they commit suicide...so says the tactless, clearly confused, Daisy "I let Claire Verity near some babies for the sake of my ratings never mind the fact even the NSPCC were appalled" Goodwin.

This attack, as usual planned just before National Breastfeeding Week, has to be the most abhorrent I've read. Using a new mum's postpartum psychosis suicide as a tool to undermine breastfeeding! I just hope the family don't see this article. This mother was failed, nobody spotted her illness, and the debate about breastfeeding is also about women being failed.

Daisy Goodwin has also failed woman...even parentkind with this article (I'm not even going to start on her involvement on Bringing up Baby). Those who try and help women breastfeed, are mostly unpaid like myself, so this in incredibly insulting someone to get paid to spout myths as usual and undo all our work.

Lactivists, breastfeeding nazis, whatever you want to call us are passionate about the seemingly insignificant issue of infant feeding. Agreed 10 years ago I'd be like "what the fuck are you on about you hippy". But being of curious mind I like to inform myself, after all parenting is the most important job there is.
I'm not doing that pandering about thing, basically choosing formula is taking a risk with your child's health, from over double the rate of SIDS, 8 times the risk of certain cancers and...well I could go on forever. It's irrefutable, nobody faced with the evidence can deny breastfeeding is normal (not best, no mother is best, no mother is perfect), it's how babies are made and born to be fed. So any other way of feeding a baby is to only be undertaken in dire circumstances, when it's a last resort. That is what formula is. Not something you choose because you want a social life. Choose children, choose their life. They come first, that's how it works.
This article describes breastfeeding like some major hardship or hassle (it can be when you need to fight for help), like the life force is drained out of you by somekind of soul sucking alien from Torchwood. It's not, not if you get it right. Which means getting support from family, health professionals, counsellors and peer supporters. Daisy is attacking the help that can make breastfeeding a happy experience and successful. She's not the failed breastfeeding mother's voice she thinks she is here, she's their enemy.
We are few and far between, breastfeeding mothers are bullied into giving bottles, given bad advice, because we ahve faced this we often go on to trying to help others. How dare she put us down and let mothers who may breastfeed down too.

Not that all women need help, I was lucky enough to find it a piece of piss (despite having never seen anyone breastfeed until I did it)...and I have ulcerative colitis. If I'm ill and manage it (and enjoyed it) then a healthy woman can do it! Just need to be fully informed. Which is what I fight for.
Because the billion dollar industry that is the formula business has nothing but profit driving them. They will say anything to make you think it's just as good as breastmilk, and they do say anything in incredibly sneaky ways. This is what angers me most.
Parents do not know the truth, so no wonder we look nuts to them, they have no idea it is a big deal. Generations of mothers have been fooled by marketing. SMA, Cow & Gate...they are all taking then piss out of us.
"Haha we are making them fight, making those who are trying to help the babies and the mothers look like bullies, and we are getting all the money."
I don't blame women who choose to bottlefeed, I feel bad for them, they missed out, they were tricked. I'm trying to stand up for those who are accusing us of being nazis!
If a woman knowing all the risks still chooses it, well on her head be it. None of my business.
But I just think it's a nice thing to do, as a human, to make sure parents know those formula adverts lie, those myths aren't true and that with qualified help 98% of women can breastfeed.
Guilt, it's the wrong emotion it should be anger women who have been poorly supported and ended up formula feeding feel. But it's what mothers do, we feel guilty no matter what we do. But those trying to help women breastfeed are not imposing that guilt on them. Direct these feelings into something more positive instead. Like peer supporting. For I was failed too, my eldest was fed just 4 months, my then GP failed me with her poor knowledge of breastfeeding. Instead of woe is me, I'm trying to make sure it doesn't happen to another family.

As for the comment
"Breastfeeding on demand with your child strapped to you might be feasible in the jungle, but it's tougher in modern Britain. "
erm actually breastfeeding on cue with a baby strapped to you makes life as a mother easier! Do you really think a non driving mother of 3 would make life harder for herself! I got to have a life while my babies were small while seeing to their physiological needs because I did these things.

But basically, if advertising was banned, if all health professionals sang from the same hymn sheet and gave accurate up to date advice and help, if family supported women, if we all shut the fuck up arguing between ourselves, and just get on with trying to achieve the 98% breastfeeding rate that we know is possible (see Norway)...we might just have a far healthier generation of children and far happier experience of motherhood.
As for the 2% who can't, with that many mothers nursing there'd be enough donated milk to go round!

Quicken the Heart

I just couldn't be good and wait patiently for my preordered copy of the new Maximo Park album to arrive could I? It got leaked at the weekend and somehow found itself in my itunes. Rascal of an album that it is.
I kinda want to review it a bit as I cheekily listened early, but I'm not a wordy girl, in fact if I try to describe why I like the band so much I have to revert back to my old physicist ways and say that I just resonate on the Park frequency. So this will be a bit crap, unlike the album! I'm coming to the conclusion I love it more than Earthly Pleasures. It feels a bit more like A Certain Trigger, a bit fresher and happier despite actually some songs being rather sad like Calm. Perfect timing getting my first week with Quicken the Heart to coincide with such lovely sunny weather. Stick it on your ipod and go for a walk, or a train journey. It's ideal company.

I think I have to start with the aural foreplay of Let's Get Clinical, It's fantastically synthy and dirty, there's gin, sin and sexual analogies fuelling a Paul Smith crush. He calls it robo-funk-pop, I call it robo-fuck-pop and I like this genre.
You can download this song from this site, apparently it's legal.


Calm is lovely, got this fantastic hook of a melody which the song opens with. It will come to mean summer to me I'm sure. It makes your head go whimsy. You think it's happy at first, you gradually come to realise it's sad. It's not calm in a contented way, it's a depressed calm, a numb one. So even knowing this how does the tune feel uplifting still?

A Cloud of Mystery lyrically reminds me of Night I Lost My Head a little. That was about regretting being off your tits when you meet a girl you like. This is one about wishing you could always meet that girl keeping that enigmatic aura going. Before he starts farting in bed or something.

In Another World (You Would've Found Yourself By Now), this I suspect will be a great sung along at gigs one. The chorus and there are some great whoahs! I particularly like the line "all the other girls live their lives without self doubt" as I feel most of the time I'm the only one who worries about the things I do. Now the threat to "wipe that smile of your face" in this song has got me thinking about Clinical again....

Anyway on to The Penultimate Clinch, he's a bit more narked in this one "bee in my bonnet", more urgently moving along and occasionally he seems to soften and has that penultimate clinch. I love the bit (this is where lacking technical language off songs fails me) after it lightens up a tad you get a lovely bit of instrumental action. Is it a middle 8? I don't know but I like that bit (starts at 2.00 min).

I Haven't Seen Her In Ages, again lovely wistful head style song. You kind of wish you had angsty thoughts to go with Maximo Park. The verses are romantic recollections of splendid days together, then he hits you with the fantastic line "she ripped me to shreds" with no apparent mood change in the music. Lovely pop, lovely poetic lyrics. To be expected from these guys!

Overland, West Of Suez is a noisey, busy, even 60s in parts kind of song, so much so I've not yet really picked up on the lyrics much. In fact I have no idea what it's about. Needs more listening.

Questing, Not Coasting I already knew I loved. I saw it last year at the Forum


Watch Questing in Music  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

and then again at the recording of the Shockwaves Channel 4 Album Chart Show at Koko at couple of weeks ago. I was most chuffed when Paul spotted I knew the lyrics. I'm all about the chorus and the frozen stardust. I love to watch a storm.



Roller Disco Dreams could be about my hen night which I spent at Rollerworld (nearly 5 years ago now) but it's another fast paced song on a noisier level to reflect the pre-Nosebleed style quality to the story. Almost Cure music like in parts.

Finally Tanned (totally out of order here, itunes decided and I've ignored the 2 you've heard already), again not new to me.

Watch Tanned in Music  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
Another sexy offering, with some lovely riffs that suit their stage presence (in particular Paul's dancing) well. Lovely touch from Lukas at the end too.

Next month I get to see them play Brixton and I am just so excited!

I other news I've been mainly twittering, hoovering, finishing my breastfeeding peer supporter training and taking more pictures.
Another Magistrates gig and my very first (hopefully not last) photopass at Scala for Matt Berry's album gig.





Magistrates single Heartbreak is out on the 25th of May.

And yes I do only listen to music from M's.

Oh dear

what with all the facebooking and now that twittering I've turned into the worst blogger ever (not that I really write it expecting it to be read, it's more like a diary I can't lose). The last post was about watching IT Crowd filming, the series has aired and the DVD is being made already! You don't need me to tell you how funny it is.

Obviously day to day I have bugger all to say, ooh I woke up, took them to school, went to asda and hoovered. Thrilling stuff. See normally I'm pregnant by now (as in when my youngest goes to playschool) so have something to look forward to. Plus thanks to those hormones housework is slightly enjoyable in that nesting way.
But there are no more little people to be made so I'm bored stupid with housewifery atm. But the children bit is obviously wonderful. I'm loving watching their sense of humours develop, Jensy's very must at that "cat goes woof" and that's funny stage, Dillon is more slapstick and Tyler is really into Shooting Stars, he's got quite a surreal sense of humour. Keeps singing about baked potato.
Oh and I finished my breastfeeding peer supporter course, just got to set the group up.

Anyway I have actually done a couple of things since I last blogged, in October I went to Amsterdam and my eldest boy had his first school trip staying away overnight!
In November I finally got to go along and see Magistrates play the Barhouse. So excited about their album coming out this year. .

I also popped (I say that as if it's easily done, but fitting in school run, dinner and babysitting arrangements plus getting to London Bridge for 7ish is knackering) along to see Robert Popper and Peter Serafinowicz's listening party thing, The Other Side, at Shunt. It was an authentic (I assume as I have no experience as yet) sneeky listen to a radio show for dead people. Attention to detail, as always with those two, was brilliant. I loved the whole aural atmosphere of the show and the choice of venue couldn't of being any better. It was a while ago now, and I do so hope I get to hear it again, but what sticks in my head was the sketch "How did you die?" in a very lighthearted local radio phone in style. All this heard through wireless headphones, sat round in a candle lit room, made it even more funny. It's really weird laughing and not being able to hear yourself.

Then December was Christmas, I cooked Christmas dinner for the first time with help from Nigella, Jon back at work Boxing Day and little Jensy throwing up the day after (not related to my dinner, honest).
Highlight of my festive tv viewing was Peter's show and of course Doctor Who.


January I turned 30 and wish to forget the whole event, Jensy started preschool and then in February it snowed (like it's barely been mentioned on the news). Yay!




As for the future, obviously I still need to learn to drive (I spotted a company called Jam advertised in The Edge, I may go with them based just on that name). I've also got to work out what on earth I'm going to do when all boys are in school (omg next September..and even more wtf omg Tyler starts secondary school) and get an opportunity to make some of that money stuff. I have no idea what I could be paid for doing.
Oh and I have tickets to see Matt Berry at Scala in April, I'm assuming it's to promote his new album, proving he's not just a pretty voice, trumpets and electric sex pants!
Oh and I am so excited, new Maxïmo Park album out this year and I'm going to the Brixton gig in May.

Oh and..no not really. I really must stop saying that so much, it's annoying.